First Steps

One year ago today my son took his first steps.

We were only a couple months away from meeting him and he was living with some wonderful foster parents.

They were helping him to recover, to get healthier, and to prepare for the big change ahead.

One year ago today my son took his first tentative, shaky steps.

One foot in front of the other, a forearm crutch in his hand.

I wish I could have been there to see it, but I am thrilled to have these moments captured.

As I try to imagine what was going through his head as he took his first steps at 6 yrs old, I know that moment was a big deal to him.  

He is keenly aware that his past lack of ability to walk made him very vulnerable.  

Several of his anxiety meltdowns this past year have ended with him trying to unintelligibly explain situations to me.  While I haven't been able to make sense of the tales, the part I can always catch is him wailing 

"No can't walk! No can't. No can't get out.  No can't walk"

 I hear the powerlessness, desperation, and vulnerability in his voice.

Whether he's telling me stories about a scary dog, or a "pa" man...his not being able to walk has been a source of terror.

One year ago today,

I know he felt a glimmer of empowerment, and independence. 

I also suspect he was nervous, excited, and proud.

I think, in his mind, a whole new world of possibilities opened up that day.

He was off walking, and he's never looked back.

So thankful for the people who cared enough to give him that gift. 

As he sits here now with casts on both legs,  I am starting to get excited to see what comes next for him. 

Will we ditch the forearm crutch? Will he have the balance to stand alone?

Will he learn to run?

I guess we'll find out in a few weeks. 

Soli Deo Gloria,